Hole in my soul.

Thursday, February 12, 2009
I drank a lot last night, I got really intoxicated. Truth is I am not a big fan of alcohol for obvious reasons, but I do believe once in a while it is good to let your deep conscious spill out. We all need a release at times, leave ones overly calculated thought and into the realm of pure self. Some will obviously disagree with me, saying the negative outweighs the positive.

Anyway I got so drunk and then came the sick part. I was throwing up like crazy. It was an amazing experience, pain gives man such perspective. It was a microcosm of life. The issues of life are stifling and I have thus far been unable to resolve it. I just sit and pray that it end. That I be redeemed of what pains me.

I find life to be afflictive; I am searching for something of which I do not know. People throw themselves to learning, some to art, and others to demigods. Those have been temporary simply because I think there is something greater to perceive, of which no one can point the way. I am fooling myself, I have yet to realized that this is it; this is what we have, nothing more and nothing less. What you see is what you get. That is the most depressing thought of all.

I am angry at the world for what it has to offer. Maybe I hate the world because I hate myself; there are just too many theories to verify.

23 comments:

Nemo said...

OMG, you and Hemmingway.

Rationally pious said...

Nemo, That name was brought up a good many posts ago.

We need a novel name, any ideas?

Rationally pious said...

Nemo, read your comment on TRS about all the engagements.

You jealous? Some really pretty girls have been taken off the market, why you procrastinating?

Nemo said...

Tzemach Atlas?

Yes, totally jealous. Dude, if I wanted to be married so badly, I would've done it a while ago. There's always more where they came from ...

Rationally pious said...

TA is dead?

Ahh the fish do run out at times.

Nemo said...

Might as well be.

The Lubavitch lake is still hopping.

Rationally pious said...

Might as well be? Interesting

Cheerio said...

i wrote a comment, then i deleted it. i find myself doing that a lot here.

Rationally pious said...

Why is that?

Cheerio said...

because i get too mushy and emotional, and then i remember that i don't actually know you or what you're going through, so i should just stay clear of the deep, murky waters and play around in the shallow end.

Rationally pious said...

If you write it, post it. Ambivalent in it's history did more harm then good.

Cheerio said...

(first fix the last sentence you wrote so it makes sense, and then i will respond.)

Rationally pious said...

Ambivalence does more harm then good....you get the point. Thanks for all the grammatical help!

Cheerio said...

i'm going to attempt an understanding - do you mean to say that ambivalence has a history of doing more harm than good?

Cheerio said...

tip: stay simple. convoluted sentences do more harm than good, unless being employed by a very experienced writer.

Cheerio said...

also, i'm not ambivalent. i would like to post what i write, but i have the feeling that you don't need to hear it. or want to. and so it has no point.

Rationally pious said...

Or are you insecure? afraid of being rejected?

I accept from everyone. I might not agree but i appreciate input.

Cheerio said...

yes, and yes. duh.
but the truth of it is, i tend to jump into caring about people headfirst. i don't mean romantically - just caring. and i don't know you. i don't know what you need to hear, what you have heard already, what i can actually do for you.
i need to remember that.

Rationally pious said...

Ahhhh, I want human insightful input, not to be cared for.

and Ha Ha Ha

That is why knowing my name is BAD!

Cheerio said...

how do you give insightful human input unless you give a damn?

Rationally pious said...

I have to mull that one over.......

Rationally pious said...

I will reply on the most recent back and forth.

Cheerio said...

wait, what? where? i'm confused.